Kill Your Darlings

Yesterday, Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail for violating her parole. She was previously arrested for driving under the influence, possession of cocaine and fleeing the scene of an accident.

She is a person whose current state is the direct result of us, The Consumer.

As a child she was trained and groomed by Disney into a teen pop star, producing saccharine movies and records that were as common as the horde of manufactured stars just like her.

Then, the moment she turned 18, she was whisked off into the land of adulthood. Sex and debauchery were her stock and trade now. Since then, she’s been kept alive by a steady diet of vodka, coke and selling herself to the tabloid press.

The criminal aspects of that life came to a head yesterday at her sentencing. And what did she have to say to the world of Consumers that had brought her there?

A celebrity is nothing more than a person created by the world that the world can tear down at any moment.

Lindsay Lohan is just another notch on the butt of our rifle.

Pictures via WWTDD.

Why the fuck is this news?

Martha Stewart’s Dog Dies. 

Fuck you CNN.

Fuck you. 

Hi to everyone who found my site while looking for porn.

Over the last month here are the most common search strings that lead to my site:

perfect breasts
the uncanny
the worlds perfect breast
diy steampunk
angelina jolie breasts
angelina fucking images
angelina jolies breasts
“angelina jolie”
angelina jolie in beowulf
angelina jolie fuck

So what you are telling me is that I need to post more pictures of Angelina’s tits?

The Uncanny Valley and the World’s most perfect breasts

CG has come just far enough to make a direct copy of Angelina Jolie’s breasts, but place them directly in the Uncanny Valley, thereby creeping everyone the fuck out.

For those not aware, wikipedia defines the Uncanny Valley as so:

The Uncanny Valley is a hypothesis about robotics concerning the emotional response of humans to robots and other non-human entities. It was introduced by Japanese roboticist Masahiro Mori in 1970, although drawing heavily on Ernst Jentsch’s concept of “the uncanny,” identified in a 1906 essay, “On the Psychology of the Uncanny.” Jentsch’s conception is famously elaborated upon by Sigmund Freud in a 1919 essay, simply entitled “The Uncanny” (“Das Unheimliche”). A similar problem exists in realistic 3D computer animation [1].

Direct link to the article on The Uncanny Valley is here.

The still is taken from the new Robert Zemeckis movie, Beowulf. Specifically from the redband (stupid fucking term) trailer found here.

So the Spice Girls are back together.

I feel like I’m living that scene in the Simpsons where Homer yells out “I’m going to clown college and none of you are going to stop me!” and runs out of the room. Bart answers back “Well, I don’t think any of us expected him to say that.”

Yeah that’s what my brain did this morning when I saw this little bit on CNN.

Were there really people out there clamoring for these five women to get back together and do their thing again? And if there really were, why have we, as a species not risen up and dealt with those people?

Good God what the hell is wrong with the rest of you?

EDIT: Now with stultifying imagery.

Oh come on, I just woke the hell up.

When the first thing you see in the morning, and the leading story on the newsfeeds, is that a bigoted, vapid, self-absorbed semen depository got out of jail last night after serving a hacked down sentence for endangering the rest of us…well…it makes one sort of want to find the zeitgeist and beat him in an alley with a baseball bat covered in hammered in nails.

Good morning Zach, this is your hangover and its going to be one of those of days.