A Mexican street religion born from a crucible of violence and desperation. The guy at the end sums it all up perfectly.
“The way I see it is…no one’s eternal in this life. I don’t ask her for eternal life, I ask her for a happy death. Because I don’t think anyone wants to die in a bad way. And we’re all on the list and the day that she decides to come for me I’m going to receive her. I’m going to welcome her.”
After all, why would you want eternal life when all your life has been is struggle and suffering?
And today, appropriately enough, is Santa Muerte’s holiday. I offer my last FastFiction as a gift to her.
200 words about the new religion for the sinners on the street:
The wicked, the lost, the suffering. They all come to me. Those that God has turned His back on, who make their wage dealing in sins. These are my children, clutching at my robes, looking for protection.
Saying their private prayers to the Saint of Death.
My shrine is a secret place, hidden in the alley between the florist and the butcher. From here, I keep watch over those that have fallen through the cracks.
A cartel soldier asking me to bless his guns so he might come home safe. A prostitute praying that this abortion will be her last. A drug dealer pleading that his son will never know what his father does. An addict overdosing at my feet, begging me for comfort. A group of runaways stealing the apples and sugar skulls from my altar, gifts freely given so they might see another day.
Across the favela market sits another idol. That immaculate whore, cursing me and my children to her Father, whispering to her partitioners that my children are worshipping the Devil.
And maybe they are right. Maybe I am a devil. But better a devil than a Father who will not comfort His crying, suffering children.
Amateur drinkers think they can keep up with the professionals, and then the sidewalks are awash with puke the next morning.
Girls with self worth problems decided that being slutty is suddenly a costume. (Darlin, it would be if you didn’t already put out after two Bacardi Silvers.)
Asshole teenagers constantly ringing my doorbell – even though my light is off – for candy I don’t have.
And then there’s the children. The hordes and hordes of children. God, I hate them.
But, what I do like is the origin of Halloween.
It all started with the ancient Gaels. They noted that toward the end of October and the start of November, nights overtook days. Daylight became scarce, plants and animals started to die, and winter followed close behind.
They divided their calendar year into two halves around the dominance of light or dark. The dark half that started about now, and the light half that kicked off some time in April/May. But when they transitioned from light to the dark? That’s when magic things happened.
The Gaels believed that at the point of transition from the light half of the year to the dark half of the year, the edges between this mortal world and the spiritual “otherworld” became blurred. Spirits were able to pass through the veil and return to this world on this day.
They called it Samhain.
Literally translated it means “Summer’s End.” It is the point of origin for our modern day Halloween. Gaels celebrated it by building bonfires, wearing masks to hide from spirits, and carving faces into turnips to confuse them. Any of that sound familiar?
But, you didn’t have to avoid spirits. You could seek them out. Passed on family members, dead friends, tragic lovers. For one night you could talk to them again. You could be together again. Death didn’t have to be good bye forever.
And that always appealed to me more than a child on a sugar high banging on my front door.
It also brings up an interesting question. If there was one person you could talk to again, for just one night, what would you ask them? What do you hope they would say?
Happy Samhain, everyone.
If you’re looking for me, I’ll be staring into a fire, trying to talk to my grandfathers.
It always makes me happy to see a group take religion and package it in a way that puts them heads and shoulders above the crazies that are responsible for things like the Obama is the Angel of Death ad.
Sure, my views on religion are pretty harsh (I’m the guy that sides with the negative end of the Omnipotence Paradox), but I like people that can talk to me rationally about why they like a religion, why the believe in a faith. I mean after all, I’m living in sin with a girl who thinks Jesus is hot.
As to the prayer in school issue, since that was the actual point of the ad: My grandmother was an elementary school teacher. She was the first one to tell me the adage that so long as their are tests in school, there will be prayer in school. If students want to pray, let them pray. If students are made to pray, then everything has fallen apart.
Bottom line? Eloquent arguments are good. Shouting matches are bad.
In addition to all the state, local and federal elections going on, there are also 184 state ballot measures (as of this writing) that people will be voting on November 4th. They run the full political gambit, from general budgetary funding measures to more high profile issues like California’s legalization of recreational pot use and Colorado’s declaration of a fertilized egg as a legal “person”.
Those two ballot measures are probably more meaningful, in a broad test-case sense, than the inevitable bitch slap the Democrats are going to take from the right – Republican or Tea Party.
The California pot issue isn’t what I want to talk about, but it does have some interesting implications if they can save their budget while at the same time lowering their crime rate and prison populations.
What I do want to talk about is the Colorado ballot measure that specifies the moment a sperm and an egg legally become a “person” with full legal rights and not just a group of cells with potential.
Yes, boys and girls, I’m going to talk about abortion. So, you might as well start drinking.
First off, let’s talk about me. Personally, I wish there was never the need for another abortion. I wish all pregnancies were wanted, complication free, and all children were born to parents who loved them, nurtured them and could provide for them.
I also wish I had a space ship and could explore Mars.
Too bad the latter wish is more likely to happen than the former.
I don’t like abortion, I don’t encourage people to have abortions, but I’m not going to push external morals on some one in a situation I could never understand. I am Pro-Choice. Which is distinctly different from Pro-Abortion, a fact that seems to escape an alarming number of people.
Section 32. Person defined. As used in sections 3, 6, and 25 of Article II of the state constitution, the term “person” shall apply to every human being from the beginning of the biological development of that human being.
Beginning of biological development of course being the moment a sperm has fertilized an egg. Which would make any act to destroy said fertilized egg tantamount to, you know, murder.
And since the wording of the amendment is so broad, it also knocks out things like fetal stem cell research, and any method of birth control that doesn’t operate on the front end – ie, condoms only, the Morning After pill is out.
62 is being supported by groups like Personhood Colorado, which do touching and subtle ads like this one.
Wait, I’m sorry, did I say touching and subtle? I mean blatantly wrong and disturbingly unhinged. The Supreme Court hates liberty and freedom? Obama as the angel of death? A fucking “abortion industry”? That makes billions? Nixon was a baby hating liberal? I…what? What the hell was that?
That’s right, the same bunch of white people in Colorado that called the first black president an angel of death also said abortion is akin to slavery. Progressive, aren’t we?
Thankfully, these crazies have no chance of winning. The last time this measure came up in Colorado it was beaten 3 to 1, and this one isn’t expected to do any better.
No, they won’t win. They’ll just get to go around yelling about things that aren’t true for another election cycle, tearing down the walls of cogent discourse, making the other side have to yell just as loud to be heard. And in doing so, they’ll gain ground by pulling their opposition down to their level, by giving themselves more ways to point across the way and go “Look! See! They’re crazy!”
(CBS/AP) Texas’ State Board of Education – following a long history of throwing itself into “culture war” issues – is set to vote Friday on a resolution calling on textbook publishers to limit what they print about Islam in world history books.
The resolution cites world history books no longer used in Texas schools that it says devoted more lines of text to Islamic beliefs and practices than Christian beliefs and practices.
“Diverse reviewers have repeatedly documented gross pro-Islamic, anti-Christian distortions in social studies texts,” reads a draft of the resolution, which would not be binding on future boards that will choose the state’s next generation of social studies texts.
The measure was first suggested to the board this summer by Odessa businessman Randy Rives, who lost his Republican primary bid for a seat on the panel earlier this year.
The conservative-leaning and heavily evangelical Christian board pushed the item to a vote.
Don McLeroy, who is serving the final months of his term after also losing in the GOP primary, said he believes even current textbooks still reflect an anti-Christian bias.
“The biggest problem I saw was their overreach not to be ‘ethnocentric,”‘ McLeroy said of an Advanced Placement world history book approved in 2003 and still in use. “It’s a very, very, very, very biased book. Christianity didn’t even make it in the table of contents.”
McLeroy is one of the most outspoken of a group of board members who have pushed several conservative requirements for social study textbooks used in Texas, including that teachers cover the Judeo-Christian influences of the nation’s Founding Fathers.
“It’s that great idea. That radical idea of Judeo-Christianity, that man is created in the image of God. So if you have world history books that downplay Christianity – Judeo-Christianity – and it doesn’t even make it in the table of contents, I think there’s a great concern,” McLeroy said.
The Texas Board of Education is full of loonies that like to rattle their cages and toss excrement at anything that happens by. If you read the full text of the article, you’ll find that two of the people sourced (like the Rives fellow mentioned above) are now lame ducks, and this is the last gasp of the damned. Which in all likelihood, is the first good thing the Tea Party’s ever done.
That’s a guess on my part, but the only people beating incumbent Republicans in primaries are Tea Party Republicans. So, go figure.
It also points out that the text books they are censuring are now out of print and unused, and that the resolution is completely non-binding.
Makes one feel like this country is in an arms race to beat out the Islamic republics for who’s got the most religious integration/bias at a governmental level.
The publishers know what they are doing, and they’ve released ONLY the introduction to the book. A book which posits that M Theory is the only viable solver for a non-supernaturally created universe. An introduction which, when released like this, as the intended purpose of PISSING EVERY BELIEVER ON THE PLANET THE FUCK OFF. Which causes them to write about it, and causes the press to cover those writings.
But what I guarantee you isn’t in that introduction, but is somewhere in that book is a bit where Hawking will admit that M Theory, while not overtly active, probably does in fact meet some of the definitions of God.
After all, if M Theory really does solve out and create a unifying theory of everything, wouldn’t that, oh, I don’t know, BE GOD?
So, all of this vitriol and rhetoric that’s flying around right now? Don’t buy any of it. It’s all just hot air blowing about. It’ll die down in no time at all.
But, then again, I wouldn’t go buying the book either. Because even if you do, you’ll be justifying the publisher’s tactics to sell it.
I was looking for a single pull-out quote from this Baltimore Sun article, but the crazy just kept coming:
WASHINGTON – Conservative televangelist Rev. Pat Robertson on Wednesday blamed the earthquake in Haiti on a “pact with the devil” purportedly entered into by the Haitian people in a bid to defeat French colonizers in the early 19th century.
“Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it,” Robertson said on his Christian Broadcasting Network show. “They were under the heel of the French … and they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, ‘We will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French.’
“True story. And the devil said, ‘OK, it’s a deal,’ ” Robertson said. “Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after another.”
Hours after his comments ignited a firestorm in the news media and online, Robertson’s 700 Club TV show issued a statement elaborating on his remarks.
Robertson’s comments were based “on the widely-discussed 1791 slave rebellion where the slaves allegedly made a famous pact with the devil in exchange for victory over the French. This history, combined with the horrible state of the country, has led countless scholars and religious figures over the centuries to believe the country is cursed,” the statement said.
“Dr. Robertson never stated that the earthquake was God’s wrath,” the statement went on. It added that “Dr. Robertson’s compassion for the people of Haiti is clear. He called for prayer for them.”
The Haitian uprising is regarded as one of history’s few successful slave revolts.
Robertson, the founder of the Christian Coalition and a 1988 Republican presidential candidate, has a history of making provocative comments, often in the wake of calamity.
You know, in parts of Europe, talking like this is considered prosecutable hate speech.
Just sayin’ I wouldn’t mind seeing this mean, crazy old bastard in jail.
Just sayin’ I wouldn’t mind seeing this mean, crazy old bastard in jail being used as a hand puppet.
“Nature is no longer a creation to defend, but a divinity to worship,”
That’s a line from a Vatican review of the film Avatar, releasing in Italy this week. Which is keeping in line with Darth Pope’s Benedict XVI’s fear that modern ecology and environmentalism will give rise “to a new pantheism tinged with neo-paganism, which would see the source of man’s salvation in nature alone, understood in purely naturalistic terms.” This is coming from a pontiff that’s been called “the green pope” by third party observers because of his acknowledgment of things like eco-refugees, climate change and poor shepherding of the world’s resources. Which makes me think that this current pope isn’t so much worried about the environmental apocalypse that is baring down on us because maybe he sees it as a means to drive people back to the church. Has your poor fishing village been washed away because of rising ocean levels? Turn to Christ, especially the Catholic Christ!
These circus people live in their own environment of their trailers. That’s not a surprise why they marry each other but not people “from outside”. They are the only ones who can understand this life. And no one else can reach its depth and gamma. That’s why they are always sincere when saying “Circus is our life”.
The Caucasian has not been chosen to lead the world. They lack true emotions in their creation. We never intended them to be peaceful. They were bred to be killers, with low reproduction levels and a short life span. What you call Negroid was to live 1,000 years each and the other humans 120 years. But the warrior seed of Caucasians only 60 years. They were only created to fight other invading races, to protect the God race Negroids. But they went insane, lost control when they were left unattended. They were never to taste blood. They did, and their true nature came out.… Because their reproduction levels were cut short, their sexual organs were made the smallest so that the female of their race will want to breed with Negroids to breed themselves out of existence after 6,000 years. It took 600 years to breed them, part man and part beast.
Clones are in tune with each other unconsciously and linked etherically, which means anything that happens to you the cloned counterparts of you feels also. For instance you may feel a sharp pain, for no apparent reason like your hand may feel like it has been cut and that is because your clones hand may have been. You can have an emotional break down out of the “clear blue sky” because one of your counterparts did. For instance me, I have had smoke come out of my mouth, it was a strange tobacco, for no apparent reason. It turned out my duplicate in Tibet smokes and the smoke came through me. I do not smoke anything.
“Haven’t you ever wondered why for the simplest blood tests your doctor needs 4 tubes of blood? Where is all this blood going? The albino man’s ‘blood bank’ is just a sophisticated way of getting all the blood he needs! It is still a form of vampirism.”
Alcoholic beverages are made cheaply available to Nubians by the powers that be in order to preserve their blood and organs better “(just like they preserve organs in jars in laboratories)” for later extraction.
Disco was created by the devil to win the souls of the Nubians: “The evil one knows that he can control the music world as long as his agents are within the A & R (Artists and Repertoire, who are responsible for choosing who makes it in the music world) of the well known companies. He cannot evaluate Latin or Black music because he (the evil one) has no soul. He only duplicates it… He had to come up with something to win our souls through his means, and he did it with disco.”
There is an underground road connecting New York and London. Furthermore, Alternative 3 is a fact, and Mars is being prepared for the evacuation of Earth’s intellectual and political elite.
“[P]eople like the Pope, and Queen of England and various political leaders of various countries and some members of the clergy gather at the major Sabbats to invoke the malevolent one. On each of these occasions a Nubian man is sacrificed.”
Here is the Parable of the Good Samaritan from Bible, specifically the New International Version.
“A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead with no clothes. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, and he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, he too passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and looked after him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’ “Which of these three do you think was a neighbour to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.” Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”
Now, I think we all know the message here: do good by your fellow man in need. What I’m not understanding, however, is how, in a nation founded on essentially Christian values, one of the simplest and most universal teachings of Jesus is completely lost on the population at large.
I am, of course, talking about the health care reform insanity that is flying around this country. For me, the problem is simple. Some one is broken, you fix them. This is common human decency. This is moral. This is right.
You don’t implement a stratified class system to separate the poor from the rich when it comes to some one’s life. You don’t let some one die in agony because they could not afford a mixture of chemicals, that in and of themselves, cost mere pennies. You don’t make people decide between food and shelter or doctors and medicine. These things are immoral. These things are human indecency. These things are wrong.
What really bothers me is how people are confusing the proposed healthcare changes with something that even comes close to nationalizing our health care system. Nearly all of the changes are targeted at people with either limited or no coverage. You know, people like me. There is also a push to invest in preventative care over emergency care, which has been shown across the board to improve quality of life and lessen medical costs. Not to mention the fact that a nation of in-shape people is far more attractive than a nation of obese whales. Absolutely NO PART of the medical reform package will affect people with high quality private health insurance in any negative way.
People are sick. People are dying. All because they didn’t meet a barrier to entry that is entirely economic. This is akin to a slow, but steady, class-based program of genocide. Something which, if I’m not mistake, Jesus would have a problem with.
And I’m not even Christian, but you can be damned sure that if I see some one needing help, I’ll give it to them. Now, we’ve just got to get the rest of the nation saying the same thing.
Her parents follow a strict diet of uncooked organic foods for religious reasons. She weighed a fraction of what she should at her age. Her parents were cleared of manslaughter charges, but were convicted of neglect of their other children.
El Paso, Texas
Died (untreated cancer)
September 29, 1963
She got a lump on her neck at 5 and soon was too sick to go to school. A Christian Science practitioner prayed for her and said the illness was an illusion. When she died there was no funeral and the family never spoke of her again.Read more
Kitchener, Ontario, Canada
January 15, 1995
Her parents and grandmother thought she was possessed by a demon, so they attempted an exorcism. They forced her to drink huge quantities of water. The grandmother, mother and a neighbor were convicted of manslaughter.
Terrance Cottrell Jr.
August 22, 2003
Diagnosed as autistic at 2, he was a problem child. Church members thought he was possessed by the devil. In an exorcism he was held down for two hours until he suffocated. The pastor was sentenced to prison, but never admitted guilt.
Again, I’m sorry. But, the world is broken and people that do things like this to their children are the reason why.
A Scientology spokesman has confirmed that Scientologists believe that mankind’s problems stem from brainwashed alien soul remnants created millions of years ago by genocidal alien overlord Xenu. The admission follows years of attempts to dismiss the story, first leaked by defectors, as anti-church propaganda.
In an interview with KESQ News Channel 3, Scientology spokesman Tommy Davis was quizzed over the Xenu story, which leaked papers show is revealed to senior Scientologists as part of their induction to “Operating Thetan Level III”. Davis at first denied the story, as he had done in the past.
However, when the KESQ reporter read from a book written by Scientology founder L Ron Hubbard which refers to the Xenu story, Davis admitted that the story is authentic, albeit confidential and restricted. He then laid into KESQ reporter Nathan Baca, accusing him of “forwarding an agenda of hate”.
The Xenu story has previously been routinely denied by senior Scientologists, including actor Tom Cruise (story here). The Church of Scientology has long used copyright and trade secrecy laws in legal actions designed to suppress the tale.
According to anti-Scientology protest group Anonymous, a leaked recording shows Scientology founder Hubbard giving a lecture on OT III. A handwritten document summarising the Xenu story, in Hubbard’s own handwriting, has also turned up, it adds.
A transcript of the OCIII procedure can be found on Wikileaks here and a collection of Scientology documents – which, true to form the Church tried to supress – can be found on Wikileaks here.
In fairness, I do have to report that one of my favorite rumors about Scientology, being that it originates from a napkin bar bet between Hubbard and Asimov to see who could create the better religion, is sadly false.
It still doesn’t make these people anything other than batshit insane, now does it?
Guh. Never had an idea come to me so completely and succinctly before. I blame recent conversations with my friends for this.
Luke stood naked in front of the floor length mirror. The condom, partially filled, hung like a snake’s skin from his shrinking penis. He tugged it off, flecks of cum and spermicide splattering reflection of his thighs in the mirror.
He sighed and continued down the hall to the bathroom. The floor was pink and white tile. The soaps scented and in a scalloped bowl. The toilet seat and tank covered in pink shag that matched the hue of the tile. On the counter a framed picture of several kittens looked up at him.
Luke died a little more.
Shannon was a good woman. They had gone to high school together, been in the same youth group. She had looked lovely in her wedding dress, her long chestnut hair cascading down her shoulders. That night was their first night together, they had waited for each other.
It was as awkward. Luke told himself it would get better. But she never looked at him, never pressed back, never sought out his touch. It hadn’t gotten better, not in all those years.
The next morning, the blood in the bed made Shannon think that her period had come early. It wasn’t hers.
Word was “kittens” from Peter Owen.
Written 3/10/09, approx 12:50pm.
If you want to offer a story idea, the original thread is here.
Hard to say what was more remarkable about the resolution that was read into the record and referred to committee Wednesday by a member of the 87th Arkansas General Assembly.
The resolution itself: HJR 1009: AMENDING THE ARKANSAS CONSTITUTION TO REPEAL THE PROHIBITION AGAINST AN ATHEIST HOLDING ANY OFFICE IN THE CIVIL DEPARTMENTS OF THE STATE OF ARKANSAS OR TESTIFYING AS A WITNESS IN ANY COURT.
Or the fact that it was submitted by the Green Party’s highest-ranking elected official in America, state Rep. Richard Carroll of North Little Rock, who was elected in November winning more than 80 percent of the vote in his district.
In 2005, state Rep. Buddy Blair filed a resolution to affirm Arkansas’ support for the separation of church and state. The resolution lost 39-44 in the House.
Arkansas is one of half a dozen states that still exclude non-believers from public office. Article 19 Section 1 of the 1874 Arkansas Constitution states that “No person who denies the being of a God shall hold any office in the civil departments of this State, nor be competent to testify as a witness in any court.”
The U.S. Supreme Court ruled all such state provisions unconstitutional and unenforceable in a 1961 ruling in a Maryland case: “We repeat and again reaffirm that neither a State nor the Federal Government can constitutionally force a person ‘to profess a belief or disbelief in any religion.’”
Carroll is merely trying to do some symbolic constitutional housecleaning, but it won’t be easy.
The current list of states banning Atheists from serving in government are Arkansas, Maryland, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Tennessee and Texas, if you were wondering.
The constitution will create a new Congress with seats reserved for Bolivia’s smaller indigenous groups and eliminates any mention of The Roman Catholic Church, instead recognizing and honoring the Andean earth deity Pachamama.
My name is Zachary Whitten. I live in Memphis. I work at Combustion. I make the pretty things on the Internet work. I drink. I plot and I scheme. I occasionally write things that will probably never see the light of day.