Archived entries for drinking

Title: A Way to Die

Word: Frozen

Prompt by Kerry Crawford

200 words about the thing that really matters in life – booze.:

Baba-Yaga’s frozen tit it was cold.

He could feel his testicles pushing up ever farther into his gut – searching for any signs of warmth. He laughed at the foolishness of his balls.

For this was winter and they were in a Russian’s sac. There was no warmth anywhere to be found.

Passing by the church, he noted the orange light in the windows, curling smoke from the chimney, and hymns from the crack in the door.

He took a lantern from the church steps and continued down the road.

Trees rose up around him, blotting out the sky,

He felt the wolves before he saw their eyes. Dirty yellow asterisms, moving back and forth amongst the trees.

“Back, you pack of mongrels!”

He flung the lantern at them, sinking it into the snow.

“My mother was more a bitch than any of yours! She squatted me out on a night twice as cold as this! I am Russian! A bear fears no pack of wolves!”

They scattered into the night.

He recovered the lantern from the snow, relighting it.

After all, the church might be near, and the road dangerous. But tavern is far, so he will walk carefully.

Just a note about this one – That last line? That’s basically a paraphrasing of a real Russian proverb:

The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I will walk carefully.

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Title: Devil on My Side

Word: Hunkered

200 words about the seductive power of feeling:

The room was quiet. They looked to him. He rolled a half-finished cigar between his index finger and thumb, feeling the tobacco crackle under the pressure of his digits. After a moment he looked up at them, cleared his throat and spoke.

“It’s just a storm, boys. An’ we’re gonna do the same thing you do with any storm. We’re gonna get hunkered down some place safe and ride it out. Wait for it to pass.

“Ya see, secret is that we sell somethin’ special. A feelin’. Now, I know that you might think we’re in the booze or gamblin’ or dope or cooze business, but we ain’t. From the second they walk through the doorways of this establishment, any of our establishments, they’re feelin’ something. Feelin’ dangerous, feelin’ risky, feelin’ horny, feelin’ drunk, feelin’ all’a it.

“An’, yes, every few years, some folks get their hackles up ‘bout it. Go all spittin’ an’ yellin’ an’ get all red in the face. Convince the rest of the folk they don’t need none of what we got. But all they’s doin’ is selling their own kind of feelin’.

“Their kind’a feelin’? Ain’t got shit on ours. Just wait an’ see.“

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(Bears because that was their thing during the Cold War, not because they are all hairy gay men…anyway)

The NYTimes brings us a bit about the Russian condition of being perpetually drunk, and how their government wants to do something about it, but that would be hard, and they’d rather just have a shot of chilled vodka instead.

Russia’s president, Dmitri A. Medvedev, has been voicing that sentiment a lot lately, declaring that the government must do something about the country’s status as a world leader in alcohol consumption.

The Kremlin has already vanquished one vice this year, casino gambling, which it all but banned in July. But drinking — vodka in particular — is another thing entirely. It is a mainstay of Russian life, both a beloved social lubricant and a ready means for escaping everyday hardship.


His plan, though, follows a long line of failed anti-alcohol campaigns here, going back centuries. The most notable was pressed by Mikhail S. Gorbachev, the last Soviet leader, who in the mid-1980s ordered shelves emptied of vodka and historic vineyards razed. Those measures succeeded at first, resulting in a nationwide bout of temperance that even increased life expectancy.

But they also touched off a severe public backlash that damaged the standing of Mr. Gorbachev and the Communist Party, and he eventually relented.


Russians consume roughly 4.75 gallons of pure alcohol a person annually, more than double the level that the World Health Organization considers a health threat. The consumption figure for the United States is about 2.3 gallons.

The country will have difficulty resolving its demographic crisis — its population is predicted to drop nearly 20 percent by 2050 — if it does not confront its alcohol problem. Life expectancy for Russian men is now 60 years, in part because of alcoholism.

Researchers studying mortality in three industrial cities in Siberia in the 1990s found that in several years, alcohol was the cause of more than half of all deaths of people ages 15 to 54, often from accidents, violence or alcohol poisoning, according to a report this year in The Lancet, a London-based medical publication.


Several experts said they doubted that the government would accomplish much unless its plan was drastically strengthened. They said the most important step would be to raise vodka prices significantly through heavier taxation and the closing of unlicensed distilleries. A half liter of vodka now costs as little as $2.


Dr. Aleksandr V. Nemtsov of the Moscow Psychiatric Research Institute, one of Russia’s leading alcohol experts, said that little would change unless the Kremlin got serious about shutting down unlicensed distillers, which produce half the vodka consumed in the country and usually are protected by corrupt officials.

“The government does not want to deprive poor people of cheap vodka,” Dr. Nemtsov said. “Because it is better for them when people are drunk. You probably know that Catherine the Great said it is easier to rule a drunk public. That is the root of the evil.”


Outmoded ways of addressing the problem were evident at the drunk tank in Mytishchi. After they sobered up, those who had been brought in were written up: they were told that before being released, they would have to pay a fine.

The amount was 100 rubles, $3.50, just as it has been since Soviet times.


He-Man whiskey. From India.

The mind. It fucking boggles.

And, yes, it is real.

Korpiklaani – Vodka

Neo-folk metal people doing a song about vodka.

The fucking refrain is:

Vodka, you’re feeling stronger
Vodka, no more feeling bad
Vodka, your eyes are shining
Vodka, you are the real MAN
Vodka, wipes away your tears
Vodka, removes your fears
Vodka, everyone is gorgeous
Vodka, yeah vodka

Is there really anything else that you need to know?

You should all thank me for expanding your horizons.

AHMADABAD — Tainted home-brewed liquor that poor workers living in slums drank over the weekend has left at least 43 dead in western India, police said Wednesday.

Another 23 were battling for their lives in three hospitals in Gujarat state’s main city Ahmadabad, said S.S. Khandwawala, the director-general of state police.

Deaths from drinking illegally brewed cheap alcohol are common in India, where few people can afford licensed liquor. Known locally as desi daru (pronounced THEY-see DAA-roo), illicit liquor is often spiked with pesticides or chemicals to increase its potency.

The schadenfreude in me really wants to laugh at this, but the moral center (which is developing at an alarming rate) is keeping it in check.

I’d love to see a study on the methods poor people go to in an attempt to escape their surroundings. In Russia, they’ve taken to drinking mouth wash and cologne because it has a higher alcohol content than cheap vodka. Thousands have died in the last decade from it. You’ve got jenkem coming out of Africa, which is basically kids huffing the methane and other pollutants out of their own shit. Africa’s also got a huge problem with tainted bootleg liquor, too. There was a bit in Kenya a few years back that made this look like a minor blip on the radar. Hundreds died from the liquor. Turns out it all came from one crazy old crone out in the woods. She was cutting it with anti-freeze. A collection of cases like this would be absolutely fascinating.


U.S. Will Pay $2.6 Million to Train Chinese Prostitutes to Drink Responsibly on the Job

( — The National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAA), a part of the National Institutes of Health (NIH), will pay $2.6 million in U.S. tax dollars to train Chinese prostitutes to drink responsibly on the job.


“Previous studies in Asia and Africa and our own data from FSWs [female sex workers] in China suggest that the social norms and institutional policy within commercial sex venues as well as agents overseeing the FSWs (i.e., the ‘gatekeepers’, defined as persons who manage the establishments and/or sex workers) are potentially of great importance in influencing alcohol use and sexual behavior among establishment-based FSWs,” says the NIH grant abstract submitted by Dr. Li.

“Therefore, in this application, we propose to develop, implement, and evaluate a venue-based alcohol use and HIV risk reduction intervention focusing on both environmental and individual factors among venue-based FSWs in China,” says the abstract.

The research will take place in the southern Chinese province of Guangxi.

Guangxi is ranked third in HIV rate among Chna’s provinces–and is a place where the sex business is pervasive, Li said.

“The purpose of the project is to try and develop an intervention program targeting HIV risk and alcohol use,” Li told “So basically, it’s an alcohol and HIV risk reduction intervention project.”

I’ve come across a new release from a band I used to adore during my first few years of college. I’m sure they were in need of money, or tied into another album with their label, so they just smashed together all of their miscellaneous EPs and singles into a single album. But it is sending me back to a place in my past that I don’t really go to anymore.

I’ve been talking to people recently about how I can’t connect my brain to the person I was before a certain point in my life. There was an antipodal shift in the way my brain worked, and the old bits don’t mesh up at all with the new bits.

I used to be a very nice, forward looking sort of person. Optimistic, even.  I can only imagine how unbearable I must have been.

Some one build me a time machine. I can power it on hate and beer-piss.

I want to go back in time and say the following to my past self.

You ignorant tit. This is all going to fall apart. Everything is going to shit. And there is nothing you can do about any of it, since a lot of it is going to be you in the first place. But, that’s life, don’t take it personally.

Oh, and don’t bother with that girl from Apple. Three years of on-again off-again love ain’t worth any bit what she’ll leave you with.


I bet the old me would have just doubled over and started crying.

That pussy.

(Full disclosure: This is what whiskey does to you, children. I didn’t have any of the demon spirit until I was well into my 20s. None of this has anything to do with women or the shit life bowls you over with. It is all about the whiskey.)

(Fuller disclosure: There is a good chance the above full disclosure is complete and utter horse shit. Who wants to get bombed on whiskey?)


All I know right now is that I drank far to0 much and far too late with my friends last night.

Times, as they say, were had.

Now I fucking feel like that kid looks and I’m not against the idea of a pack of jackals pulling out my entrails just to make this hangover go away.

So, no, I won’t be entertaining you unwashed masses this day.

Please be kind enough to turn the lights off on your way out, daddy’s got a bit of a headache, love.


From NewScientist:

Men might want to remember a new rhyme: a drink a day keeps erectile dysfunction away.

Despite traditional views about the effects of booze on male performance, new research suggests that moderate drinking actually protects against impotence in the long term – perhaps for the same reason a glass or two of wine a day cuts the odds of suffering from heart disease.

There is good evidence that excessive drinking can hinder sexual performance after a night out – a phenomenon sometimes called “brewer’s droop”. The effect has been noted for many years: “[Drink] provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance,” Shakespeare reminds us in Macbeth.

But over longer periods, moderate drinking doesn’t seem to be linked to erectile dysfunction, says Kew-Kim Chew, an epidemiologist at the University of West Australia in Nedlands, whose team conducted an anonymous postal survey of 1770 West Australian men.

After accounting for differences due to age, smoking and heart disease – all risk factors for ED – Chew and colleagues found that drinkers experienced rates of impotence 25% to 30% below those of teetotallers.

Dave, Amy and I making a bit of goodly noise at work. Kip was there to document and thusly gif.

I couldn’t speak for the next two days after this.

I’ve been experimenting with traditional cocktails for a while now, and, well, sometimes you don’t know what the hell you’re going to come out with once you start throwing things in a glass.

Last night was one of my more tame, yet surprisingly delicious successes.

Rum & Sour

  • Tumbler glass
  • Extra fine sugar, 2 tablespoons worth
  • 1 good lemon
  • A good spiced rum
  • A few dashes of bitters
  • Some tonic water, to wet the drink

Slice the lemon into thick slices and put two of them in the glass. Add the sugar, a few dashes of bitters and just a bit of tonic water. Muddle all of that together until you have completely mixed the lemon and sugar. Try to fish out the seeds if you can. Don’t strain it, though, you want the lemon in the glass for the flavor. Next, add two shots of rum, some ice and stir it all up.

From the Daily Mail:

Police smash mile-long VODKA pipeline running from Russia into Europe

Police have intercepted an illegal vodka pipeline between Russia and Estonia.

Officials in the former Soviet state, now an EU member, revealed details of their four-year investigation into the illicit supply channel.

Eleven suspects have been charged over the one-mile pipe, submerged in a reservoir near the town of Narva, which pumped the alcohol across the border.

They face five years in prison if convicted. Complex negotiations with Russia resulted in lengthy delays in bringing charges.

‘It might sound weird and unbelievable but it’s a very real criminal case,’ said prosecution spokesman Mari Luuk.

The pipeline was discovered after customs officers in the Estonian capital Tallinn seized 1,159 litres of vodka which they allege came through it. Vodka is a third cheaper in Russia than Estonia.

Four Russian men are the alleged ring leaders.

According to prosecutors, the men had pumped at least 6,200 litres of illegal spirit to Estonia, avoiding paying £46,000 in excise duty.

Ms Luuk said: ‘The investigation also revealed that the men had tried to sell some of the alcohol in Tallinn in early November 2004, but the quality of the spirit was too bad and no buyers were found.

‘They then transported their cargo back to Narva and later managed to sell it in Tartu, the second-largest town in Estonia.

A similar vodka pipeline between Russia and Estonia was discovered in the Narva River by Estonian border guards in 2006.

‘That time the pipeline was discovered before it was in use,’ Ms. Luuk added.

That’s right. That’s a drunken Orson Welles shilling for a California sparkling wine.

I haven’t had a drink since my flask broke from the marathon 7pm to 10:30am event last weekend. I seriously think I’m going through the DT’s right now. I can’t sleep, my muscles are sore, I’m having trouble concentrating and I’m pretty sure I’m more irritable that normal. With no foreseeable plans to drink this weekend, and my fortune cookie telling me that I should “experience new things”, well, I think it might be time to try hangin’ up my drinkin’ spurs.

A few notes to certain people about this.
Pam – Not a damn word from you.
Kip – No showing up with a bottle of whiskey in your hand telling me that we have to empty it post-haste.
To my “guy” (actually a middle aged lesbian) at the corner liquor store – Sorry you won’t be seeing me around so much anymore. Hope it doesn’t hurt your business too much.

From CNN just now:

Sen. John McCain envisions that by 2013, the Iraq War will be won but the threat from the Taliban in Afghanistan won’t yet be eliminated, even though Osama bin Laden will have been captured or killed.

Yuri Gagarin - Not a pedo

Don’t forget to raise a glass to Yuri Gagarin this weekend. Saturday marks the 67th anniversary of his landmark trip into space. In that seminal 108 minute trip he circled the Earth just once, but he’ll forever orbit our hearts.

From this story on Physorg.

Last year Kidd’s team reported evidence that recent natural selection in East Asia had caused one particular variant of the alcohol-regulating gene to become common. In this new paper Li and others in Kidd’s team analyzed this variant in the DNA of individuals in many different population groups in several more East Asian countries.

They uncovered evidence that the variant became widespread through natural selection in only some of those East Asian populations — specifically, the Hmong- and Altaic-speaking groups. Those genetic clues, say the scientists, suggest that something was different in the environment of those populations and that the genetic difference assisted survival in that environment. The researchers have not yet identified that environmental difference and say the genetic change could be triggered by any number of factors, such as the emergence of some new parasite.

That these populations turn out to be less prone to the ravages of demon rum, says Kidd, “is just a serendipitous event’’ of evolution. “What this finding does is highlight that something important in recent human history has affected the genetic composition of many East Asian populations,” he notes.

Basically, there is a gene that is fairly common among Asians that regulates the metabolizing of alcohol differently than the rest of the world. But, there is a variant that makes people who consume a small amount of alcohol get sick. Turns out this variant has become the norm in a few specific groups of people in China and Korea. This has lead to dramatically lower levels of alcoholism in those groups.

Hear me now, you flavorless cunts and gits of the world. This a broadcast to the deaf and the listless.

Let it be known, from this day forward, unless you can summon the facilities, mentally, physically and emotionally, to appreciate the finery of whiskey (whisky), then don’t even try.

Unless you are aged enough to tell my why whiskey is good, bourbon is better and scotch best, then don’t even fucking try me.

I would be your goddamned apocalypse.

(I woke up to this scrawled into my sketch book this morning)

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