I’ve come across a new release from a band I used to adore during my first few years of college. I’m sure they were in need of money, or tied into another album with their label, so they just smashed together all of their miscellaneous EPs and singles into a single album. But it is sending me back to a place in my past that I don’t really go to anymore.

I’ve been talking to people recently about how I can’t connect my brain to the person I was before a certain point in my life. There was an antipodal shift in the way my brain worked, and the old bits don’t mesh up at all with the new bits.

I used to be a very nice, forward looking sort of person. Optimistic, even.  I can only imagine how unbearable I must have been.

Some one build me a time machine. I can power it on hate and beer-piss.

I want to go back in time and say the following to my past self.

You ignorant tit. This is all going to fall apart. Everything is going to shit. And there is nothing you can do about any of it, since a lot of it is going to be you in the first place. But, that’s life, don’t take it personally.

Oh, and don’t bother with that girl from Apple. Three years of on-again off-again love ain’t worth any bit what she’ll leave you with.


I bet the old me would have just doubled over and started crying.

That pussy.

(Full disclosure: This is what whiskey does to you, children. I didn’t have any of the demon spirit until I was well into my 20s. None of this has anything to do with women or the shit life bowls you over with. It is all about the whiskey.)

(Fuller disclosure: There is a good chance the above full disclosure is complete and utter horse shit. Who wants to get bombed on whiskey?)