It is snowing outside, big beautiful flakes that are sticking to everything but the ground. I am inside eating the last of the leftover chili from the Superbowl (#whodat).
2010 has gotten over those awkward first few weeks and is now in full stride. I expect by the time I finish this bowl, I’ll look up and find it is now half way through April, and well into July by the time I leave work today.
Ten years ago at this time I was a senior in high school, just accepted to college. I’d filled out a one page application to Savannah College of Art and Design back when they were desperate for bodies. I was prepping for my final AP exams. Of which said college would only accept credit for one of the dozen or so that I took and passed. I think any day now will be the decade anniversary of when I was dumped, for good, by the girl I’d been dating since freshman year. She would be the first, but sadly not the last, girl that I spent an extended amount of time with who decided they preferred internal genitals to external genitals.
I honestly don’t remember what my dreams were at that point. Something along the lines of running my own gaming company, a thought which now scares the ever-living shit out of me. Mainly because I now know that the actual act of running a game studio has next to nothing to do with creativity, and nearly everything with being able to sell out your best friend if it gets you another two points on your quarterly earnings sheet. I’m sure living in some place that I’d never been to was part of the deal, probably out in the blasted hellscape of Los Angeles.
But that was all ten years ago. Things are different now. You couldn’t pay me to live anywhere near LA, and I got out of the video game racket before it claimed my life. But not before it had already taken large parts of my liver and sanity. I’m working for a quirky little design shop in this bizarre small/big town that is more real than any other place I’ve lived. Any dreams of giving interviews to reporters who are confused about my new video game have long since been boxed up and put away with my comic book collection. They aren’t things that I don’t love or won’t fess up to, but simply things that I don’t need on a daily basis. I’ll occasionally drag them out of the closet and flip through them, but for the most part my life doesn’t need them to get by any more. Oddly enough, I’m still using the degree I got from SCAD. Bachelor’s of Fine Art in Interactive and Video Game Design. I got it to make video games, instead I’m building websites and social media networks. The wonderfully talented people I’m around make the pretty, and I make the pretty work. Not a bad deal all in all.
I still have dreams, but they are less obscene and outrageous. Finish my book, self publish it. Complete a collection of ROCK! with my girlfriend. Buy a house with her. Never take her for granted. See Istanbul before I’m thirty. Never stop reading. Always make my friends feel like they have some one they can trust. Always been the person they can trust. Never stop being just desperate enough to do something that seems more than just a little crazy. Never let the world beat me down. To never, ever, ever stop thinking new things and wondering if they could possibly be.
Ten years. Seems like a lifetime. But it is only just one part of it. Lots more ahead than behind.
Here’s to more of everything.