This morning, like every morning at work, I ran my mouse over the icons in my dock, click the six that always get turned on every morning. Thunderbird, Chrome, Cyberduck, iTunes, Adium, and lastly, Twitterriffic.

Except this morning something went pear-shaped with Twitterriffic. It spit out some yellow 404 error message that I’d never seen before. I shrugged, shut it down and then opened it back up. Same yellow error message. I shrugged again and then downloaded the most recent version of the Twitterriffic client (I was 3 or 4 out of date). This time I didn’t even get the yellow error message. It would pop up, ask for my password, think for about 5 minutes then give me the finger and shit all over itself.

Which, I think you’ll agree, was a bit rude.

Fine, I thought, I’ll do this the hard way. Off to the website I go.

And this is what greeted me there:

Oh.

Fuckity.

Glad to know you rolled out that feature without, you know, telling anyone you were doing it.

But, who am I kidding? Twitter isn’t a business. It’s a grift that exists to con venture capitalists out of their money. We’re a few years into the thing, and they still don’t have a business plan or a network that’s more stable than a used Kleenex.

Ah well.

At least I can take solace in the fact that a recent market survey only showed that 2% of the current user base would pay for the service.